Friday, 15 November 2013

one year ago ...

I downloaded this awesome app on my iPhone called "time hop". It shows you what you posted onto any social network site, on that day in history, going as far back as 6 years! Its so much fun checking in what you uploaded- All the pictures, events, tweets and 'immature' Facebook status's. They are rather embarrassing but fun to see nonetheless.

I was reminded today that one year ago I posted this status on Facebook, "where there is great love, there are always miracles ..."
It took me straight back to that moment in my life where I was so uncertain of the future. Having just recovered from my laparoscopy operation and having also recently decided to leave behind the medical/ scientific fertility route, and focus on getting my body healthy, detoxed and more importantly to turn back to Jesus, after being so angry at Him for so long. 

I remember feeling so uncertain. Uncertain how long the journey would be ... How long would I have to wait on God ... Where would this journey take me ... Where will it end ... How will it end ... All these questions and ALLOT of doubt consumed me daily.

When I saw this quote a year ago it struck me and I had to share it on Facebook. I remember thinking, gosh my hubby and I have SO MUCH love, so much love for each other, so much love for God and so much love for this child that we have been promised. I remember feeling so comforted, knowing with all my heart that I can trust in God. That I have nothing to worry about. I had handed everything over to Him, and I just knew that He was going to bless us.

Seeing this quote again this morning reminded me of that time, but made my heart JUMP for joy and BURST with gratitude for this incredibly precious little miracle, this beautiful gift that God has given to us, growing stronger by the day in my (growing bigger by the day) tummy.

I was reminded how awesome our God is. How He will never give you empty dreams.
He is so faithful. He is merciful. He is kind and He loves us so much.

In reflection, if you had given me a range of 'issues' to deal with in my life a couple years ago, I would have NEVER ever picked an infertility struggle. Never! I would have begged and pleaded for something else. And struggling through it too, I hated the fact that THIS had to be MY struggle. Out of all the other struggles in life. Why THIS!? My God given right as a woman is to be able to re-produce and be fruitful. I wished, hoped and prayed for it be different. But now looking back, I am so GRATEFUL for MY story. I am so grateful for what it taught me, about life, about myself, about patience, humility but more importantly, what it taught me about my God. It showed me how amazing my support system is. It bought my husband and I so much closer together, together in faith. It grew my faith to a place that I never thought possible. It made me develop a relationship with God, something that I never really understood before. It proved to me how GREAT our God is! How much he LOVES us, no matter your past, what you do or have done. I am thankful for my story and I wouldn't change it for anything.

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